Bethlezabsbók

Nýlega fundu fornleifafræðingar fyrrum óþekkta ritningu úr Gamla Testamentinu í neðanjarðarhvelfingu undir dýflissum Oxford. Sú hét Bethlezabsbók, og hefur ekki enn verið þýdd úr ensku, en mun hér stuttur kafli sýndur, ykkur til sáluhjálpar og guðhræðslu.

"So readeth the sixthe booke of Bethlezab, verse XIV.

And so it was foretolde that the Parthans did faste as had been foreseene by the prophet Typhaieb, and there was much rejoicing. Thus spake God unto Bertheilad, scion of Razhghazbaal, he who led the flock of God's chosen Ostriches through the valley of Lethbezdel, whose lorde payed not his tithe and was thenceforth smitten by much fire and thunderous death by the hand of God, that he might gather many wreaths of goat-wool to the holy mountain-shrine of Negzebleb. So shore Bertheilad many goats and wrothe wreaths thereof, and verily did he faithfully bestride to the mountain-shrine of Negzebleb astride a great wilderbeast, which he had wrothen in many wreaths of goat-wool. Verily did Bertheilad step the holy ritual dance upon the goat-wool wreaths, and wailed he loudly and flailed his limbse, and so did he smear himselfe with the juice of the autumn-dades, and God was pleased, for he saw that it was good. Thusly spake god unto the people, that they might heed his wisdom, that they shoulde fashion masks of the heads of the goats, and bemask the famisciles of the children, that they might see the light. Ulgrothelbezdel the brutish barbarian nomad however spake against the Word Of God, and believed he nay the need for the mutilation of all the tribe's goats, who were fair-bred children of Kaanan. It was bespaken amongste the people that a great beam of death-fire did scream from the heavens, and Ulgrothelbezdel was turned to duste, and his spirit was sent to eternal damnation and torture in the burning pits of Hell. So fashioned they masks of the goat's heads and placed they the goat-masks upon the heads of the children, and there was much rejoicing..."

Ah... afsakið lélega færslu, ég þurfti bara svo feitast að fá útrás fyrir flepp.