An open letter to Mr. Brown, the orc-lord.

One thing is clear, Mr. Brown.

The prime minister of the British Empire should never allow himself to stoop to squalid, pointless assaults on Her allies.

Unfortunately, such an assault is exactly what the people of Iceland have witnessed in the past few days.

Such a transparently populist mob-rousing trick will only degrade Britain's reputation in the intermational community.

Worse still, these attacks will not in the least serve the interests of those who fear for their deposits in icelandic financial institutions - inflammatory remarks and authoritarian tantrum-throwing simply make the worst-case scenario for those people more likely.

It is time for a holiday, Mr. Brown. Britain is better than you.